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Thursday, December 23, 2010

What Christmas Is All About - from the Battle Pope Christmas Pope-tacular Issue

Before Robert Kirkman's smash hit The Walking Dead, there was Battle Pope - a story about a violent and womanizing Pope [Leopold Oswald II] who was selected by God to save humanity from demons with Jesus Christ as his sidekick. And I'm not joking.

Anyway, they had a special Christmas comic which showed Jesus Christ lamenting about people forgetting him during his birthday and blames Santa Claus because of overshadowing his birthday with toys and candy bars. Let's get on to the scenes shall we?

Then he gets angry at a kid staring at a bunch of toys in a toy shop:

The guy does have a point, doesn't he? And who says you won't get a good thing or two out of comic books? Moving on...

After that, an angry Jesus decides get some retribution by engaging with Santa in a live MMA fight:

Jesus vs Santa - I thought I would ever ever see this.
So who wins? Nobody. Fortunately, Santa apologizes and Jesus forgives him. Then in another insane surprise, Mary comes down from the heavens to visit and celebrate with her son on this very special day:

I did not expect her to make an appearance. Seriously.

And it didn't end there. A lot of things happened after that. uhm, like... Pope and Mary screwin'? you know, I'm kind of afraid that a bolt of lightning would strike me and send my brains flying while I'm writing this, so I'm gonna shut up.

By the way, Robert Kirkman and Tony Moore are still alive today, got away from God's wrath with this insane of a comic book and were able to make it big time with their one of a kind zombie apocalypse tale. Now tell me that's not what every comic book writer/artist is dreaming of.

So there goes my special Christmas feature where we learn about the true meaning of Christmas via a hilariously blasphemous comic book that sure offended a couple of religious peeps - except me. maybe.

P.S. I'm not going to write anything like this again. King Leonidas might kick me down to that ginormous Spartan pit they got next time. 


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