Review: Sucker Punch

Sucker Punch

Starring Emily Browning, Abbie Cornish, Jamie Chung, Jena Malone, Vanessa Hudgens, Jon Hamm, Carla Gugino and Oscar Isaac

Written by Steve Shibuya and Zack Snyder

Directed by Zack Snyder

Released by Warner Brothers

I was totally waiting to watch this film and  I was able to do that yesterday. I was giddy about the whole film because of the trailer  (which hyped it really damn well) and mainly because its co-written and directed by Zack Snyder. Everybody knows that he is about as talented as anybody in the business today especially with his mind-bending visuals and cinematography, and therefore I was expecting a good show from him.

Did his first all-written/directed film live up to the hype? 

Snyder creates a simple story formula that focuses on 4 (sexy and foxy) girls trying to escape their abusive captors. Led by Babydoll (Emily Browning), they have to muster up their inner courage to find and collect 5 mystical/symbolic items in order to escape their dark sanctuary and gain their lives and freedom once and for all. Each attempt to gain a symbolic item starts with a supposed dance/performance from Babydoll - which was really never shown - and is rather  "represented" by her traveling into her own dream world, which doesn't really mash-up with the storyline and makes it all too confusing, making me go "WTF?" too many times.

I seriously think that Snyder wanted to tell a pretty good tale of "female empowerment" or "empowerment" in general - taking control of your destiny and fighting for what you believe is right kind of thing - but by heavily dissociating what is real, Snyder takes out the whole cinematic experience which should consist of a good story element that at least makes sense aside from the nice visuals.

Some parts were boring, dragging on for too long, and I remember going like - "what the fuck is happening now?" - several times in the movie. My girlfriend even asked me that frickin' question about 5 times (we're together watching this), and seriously, I can't blame her. Even my mind was bent. 

Character development was something missing from the movie as well as a result of the mindless storytelling. The characters are all one-dimensional with no sense of direction at all. The only good performances that came out were the ones from Oscar Isaac, who plays the role of the main antagonist in the film and Carla Gugino as the girl's dance instructor.  Isaac's performance was absolutely full of emotion and was the only one that brought anything special to be remembered while Gugino flawlessly executing the Russian accent   throughout the film.

Now on to the good: as expected from all Zack Snyder created films, you expect a lot of good CGI and mouthwatering effects - and that's what this movie has. Whether its Babydoll and the girls battling three giant samurai-robots (with fucking machine guns) in Feudal Japan, or them hacking-and-slashing some fire-breathing dragon in a castle, or gunning down steam-punk clockwork soldiers in a World War I setting with a help of a futuristic robot and many other over-the-top fantasy worlds that looks so real, Snyder is still probably, one of the best (if not the best) and most talented directors out there with a real penchant for crafting some of the best slow-motion action scenes and awe-inspiring visual effects both  stunning and elegant. These moments were unrealistically good, its like a video-game that you can't play. 

Then you partner that with some nice soundtrack that they incorporated in this film, with some remixed songs by artists like Bjork and Queen like the remade "We Will Rock" you theme. They also used tracks that were sung by Emily Browning herself as well which was impressive and that broadway duet from Carla Gugino and Oscar Isaac. Gotta give credit to that department. 

Costumes that mixes the modern/medieval styles are real cool and creative I have to say -  with Babydoll's katana-wielding and Sailormoon-esque attire falling in for first place in the cosplay category.   And frankly, that's all Snyder brings on to this movie... all the cool stuff for your viewing pleasure.

Not to mention all of the sexual innuendos that underlie especially when the girls showing up in tight-hugging corsets and fishnets, showing their busty cleavages and tasty asses. Babydoll looks like an absolute jail-bait with all that pigtails and miniskirt going on, and how I wish Snyder showed a little bit of her dancing. I bet people would have had some boners with Emily Browning shaking her booty, but to my disappointment, we get nothing of that shit. Damn you Zack. That's the least best thing you could have given to us.

Which brings me to one final point: though the movie looks some kind of a childish, PG-13 comic book spinoff that kids could enjoy, Sucker Punch is one big deceiving piece of film that shouldn't be shown to kids (especially to little boys). There are too many mature and sexual tones (hello Jamie Chung, would you suck my lollipop too?) that is hidden behind the innocent faces of its lead actresses that could lead  them to search for "Emily Browning / Jamie Chung / Abbie Cornish nude pictures" on Google for some real eye-candy and then fire bullets on their keyboards. 

Sucker Punch could have been a better-than-mediocre movie had Snyder focused on creating a real nice story-arc that actually knits together rather than putting all his attention into giving us eye-pleasing dream worlds with a lot of breasts and asses. But after all the crap, this film  could still  be enjoyed by some because its not all 100% bad, as I have written. But then again, if you put it all together and evaluate it  - the whole flick is a little bit frustrating.  Literally. It's like getting a blowjob from a real beautiful, hot and tight bodied girl for 2 hours who doesn't make you cum. 

Wait, did I just compared Sucker Punch to an effin' failed blowjob? 

(By the way, I didn't like Vanessa Hudgen's new scandal pics. She's still looks better with her clothes on.) 

P.S - I still believe that Zack Snyder is one hell of a  director, but he's got some polishing to work out in terms of his scriptwriting and storytelling. Only then he could make his own movie that "OWNS". And for Superman fans out there, let us hope that he will not make the same shit that the did here with the upcoming 2012 reboot, or we will be damned. Let us cross our fucking fingers.